God of Order

These pages point away from the man who writes them, on purpose. But you are entitled to know who he is, and what he was, before you weigh a word of the rest. This is his testimony, written before the site existed and kept as he wrote it. Where he quoted Scripture, the verse is shown whole in the King James the site uses.

God of Order

Psalm 14:1 · KJV

The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

My understanding of the fear of the Lord is the fear of being found in opposition to God. It is realizing how straying from the truth affects everyone and not just ourselves. It disrupts the very fabric of our being and multiplies in ways beyond our understanding. It’s realizing that we can never repay our wrongs but that He has provided us with a way. His Word is that way, like a lamp unto my feet, which guides each step, so that I do not continue to stray from that narrow path as I have strayed in the past. This path is the only path I know that is True and that leads to Salvation.

Romans 1:20 · KJV

For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:

Certain things were revealed to me, not any sort of hidden knowledge but, things that I personally did not understand about God’s desire for us. Simple things like how God has set a certain order in the world, and that we can see how His way is fair and just, and that even sin helps us have a Godly sorrow and joy. A sorrow that leads us to repentance and a joy through faith and hope in His merciful and loving promise. He designed everything and everything does work together for His good. A steep contrast from my secular education, which taught that all things were derived from chaos and through chaos, when even destruction and decay follow an orderly path.

We can trust in Him; Even the birds recognize that there are seasons and times, and a proper place and time for things, and that these things will continue until the end. Even though the birds are not considered wise, how much wiser are they than me because they have known to follow and trust in Him, and in doing so are not worried about where to find food? How foolish am I for not even understanding what the birds know and yet call myself educated by worldly standards? I have been a fool and lacked faith in the One that I claimed to believe in but in Whom I did not have the wisdom to understand and follow. Upon realizing this I thought, “I truly am woe and now I can see that I am”. I realized that I could submit myself to His truth or continue on a different path, that leads to my own destruction.

2 Timothy 4:3-4 · KJV

For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.

We were created to dwell in harmony with God and not to rebel against Him and His creation. People recognize that when something appears to stray from how it ought to be, man calls it a mutation or an anomaly or a black swan, as if it were an abomination, but why don’t they recognize how sin is also a departure from what ought to be. Aren’t cancers and diseases another form of departure from what ought to be? Those same people will presumptuously declare that some departures are beneficial, as if something that is not functioning properly could be an improvement upon the beginning state. Why is chaos and sin being called good? This is because the world is filled with those who are trying to explain away God by refusing to accept sin as a departure from the very nature of our existence.

Sin is evident in the worldly deeds of the flesh, which war against the Spirit. Like a cancer, our flesh desires and does what it was not intended for and the Spirit grieves when we do what we ought not do. I was so conflicted and my house was so divided that it did collapse. I had to accept the reality of my depraved mind and that, without Christ at the center, I was on the course of destruction. By the grace of God and the gift of His Spirit, and although those works have not been completed in me, I will attest that when we faithfully abide in Christ, we are given what we need to continue in faith and for faith, as He abides in us. But, the world does not know Godly sorrow, which is intended to bring us to repentance. It only knows worldly sorrow which leads to despair and death. Maybe that is why the Scriptures say:

Proverbs 31:6-7 · KJV

Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

So sin and pursuit of chaos causes man to argue the very nature of life and its beginnings; whether life begins on this day or that day, when it can be plainly seen that life has not ceased from the time of our ancestors or in the womb of our ancestors before them and by the hand of God before them. From his hardened heart, man’s mind has reasoned that life begins at some point during or after conception, rather than seeing the entire cycle as life. He has simply reasoned for himself when it is ok to murder and yet some men call this knowledge.

Our God is not a God of disorder but of peace and His peace is the way and His way is the truth and this truth is the Word of God, and due to our iniquities and desire for disorder, the Word of God became flesh and His flesh was sacrificed on our behalf so that we could be healed and reunited in communion with Him, which is the good news and the promise and hope of our faith, so that we can abide once again in His love.

So with all of this said, I truly believe that I have been disciplined by God because He loves me. I believe that God has given me a new Spirit and “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). So when I say that certain ways of thinking are foolish, it is not because I mean to harm. It is because I wish them to not be harmed. It is because some refuse to hear and see the things that can be heard and seen and to their own demise, their hearts are hardened against the things that cannot be seen.

And so these words were spoken:

Ephesians 2:8-10 · KJV

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

So if by some small measure of grace and faith, you believe that we can seek a path and find it, and if we can be guided by truth and remain on that path, that this path can lead us to restoration of what is now broken, then maybe with just a little faith, there is also hope. Hope in a new day when we will no longer have to be woeful and sorrowful, no longer grieving at the pain inflicted on and by those we say we love, but rather find peace and joy when all things are made new by our Lord and God, the creator and restorer of all things that are held together by Him.

What I was

The testimony above says my house was so divided that it did collapse and leaves it there. Here is some of what was in the house, said plainly, because a reader should not have to guess.

I drank, and I knew what I was escaping, and drank anyway. That is told in The Idea of It, and it is why that letter exists.

I was religious, to the point of being afraid to speak. My speech was presumptuous, “I will be there,” when the Bible says I cannot make one hair white or black, and says if the Lord will. The words came out of my mouth on their own, ingrained, and I could not answer people because I had to stop and rethink them. I could not dress properly, because I could not find clothes made of one cloth. I learned that I could not do the things in the Bible perfectly, and then that the Bible says so: that we are free from the law, and that loving God and our neighbour fulfils it. When the Devout Miss God is written by a man who did.

There was a season when I was set against God and knew it, and had come to the end of myself, and the prayer I prayed then is the reason The Bored Ear was written.

And the watchman’s duty that drives the warnings on this site (Warnings) is one I have misused, turning it on the people closest to me in ways that were not love. The letters that followed that failure are the gentler ones.

None of that is finished. Those works have not been completed in me is still true. If you came here to find out whether the man writing these pages is a sinner, the answer is yes, and it is the whole reason the pages point at Christ and not at him.